Worry Wart

My mum explained, as she already had, many, many times in those weeks, that nobody knows anything for certain, but this time she also gave me a rubber band.

"There's no sense in worrying about something you can't control. So everytime you start to think about it, just give yourself a little snap, a little punishment to stop yourself."

- Stefan Merrill Block in The Story of Forgetting

Not a bad idea to tie a rubber band around the hand and snap myself when negative thoughts seep in.

Do It Anyway

"People are often unreasonable, irrational and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere, people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway."

- Mother Teresa

Good Oldie Days!

It was great to meet up with you all again, the elite specialists from Delta Company, 2nd Signal Battalion.

Years have passed but things haven't changed the least - We laugh out loud over the lousiet joke and poke fun at each other's shortcomings, all done in the name of fun.

Reminiscing the days in the army, that 2 years definitely rank as one of the best. Smashing ping-pong balls in the games room, playing virtual balls in the form of Winning Eleven, heart-to-heart men's talk in the bunk, changing tracks that weighed tonnes and left us with grisly grease, playing hide-n-seek inside the humongous garage, lengthy tea breaks, enduring long distance runs along ECP and getting extra duties from Mr Terrible RSM, it was really memorable. Good memories.

Thanks for the fun days, yester-days and today.

I Could Not Ask For More

These are the moments, I thank God that I'm alive

These are the moments, I'll remember all my life

These are the moments, I know heaven must exist

These are the moments, I know all I need is this

I found all I've waited for

I have all I've waited for

And I could not ask for more

- Diane Warren

Even if the odds are stacked against you, even if you have limitations that will hamper your lifestyle, thank God for all the other good things in your life.

In the Pursuit of Happy-ness

Kesmeen (Who is extremely good in rolling her eyes!) was telling me her choir instructor was the chief cause of her failing her CCA. The reason: She disliked her instructor immensely, henceforth the decision to stop attending choir practices and inadvertently ended up with a D7 for her CCA grade.

"It's up to yourself to find joy in whatever you do. Don't let anyone or anything ever affect your mood."

Wow, these words just came out from my mouth and I didn't realise I am able to say such philosophical stuff. Was that You?

A big thank you to ODAC members who are able to generate so much joy and laughter from seemingly mundane activities. It's just so much more enjoyable to be conducting ODAC sessions with such a fun-loving group.

Anyone can make you happy. However, no one can make you unhappy, unless you give them permission to. Be happy always, Kesmeen!

P.S.: This post is inspired by and dedicated to Miss Valerie Tjota, who is able to find joy in reading my blog!

The Middle Way

"If the string is too taut, it will break. If the string is too loose, the instrument will not play."

- Boatman speaking to his son

A Spot of Bother

"And it occurred to him that there were two parts to being a better person. One part was thinking about other people. The other part was not giving a toss about what other people thought."

"Perhaps the secret was to stop looking for greener grass. Perhaps the secret was to make the best of what you had."

Mark Haddon
A Spot of Bother

Two short poignant paragraphs summarise the whole book about relationships with your loved ones, and just about summarise the way to live your life with others. Even if your loved ones are full of flaws. The cliché but perfectly true statement: Nobody is perfect afterall.

Afterall, we are often lamenting about others' faults. How often have we pointed out our own misdeeds? Probably the situation got to a lamentable stage because we did not put in the effort to improve it in the first place. Offer your hand first, for the clap to take place.

Shining Stars of Tomorrow

Since I didn't manage to win in the Poetry Slam competition (I'm not too concern about losing, I'm just super sore my $400 book voucher is gone!), I shall share my entry on this blog.

To begin with, I wasn't sure about winning right from the start. My very first attempt as I was really tempted by the voucher. In the end, I read the winning entry and I couldn't even understand half of it!

Conclusion: Good poems should not be understood by a layman. Yup. (Sour grapes sour grapes)

To those who have given me their moral support and vote, this poem is dedicated to you all!

Shining Stars of Tomorrow

Stars seized from the midnight sky

What should I compare them with?

Billions of stars in the Milky Way

Akin to the future of our tomorrow

Why should they be similar?

A state of approach, a frame of mind

Be encompassing!

Stars come in different shapes and sizes

So do you and me, him and her

Be remissive!

Stars started off by the collapse of particles

So will failure begets success

Be patient!

Light from a star takes years to reach us

So will light arrive, a matter of time

Be rewarded!

Light from a star provides energy to our lives

So will the joy of harvest, be brought to us

Two Ears, One Mouth, What's the Deal?

I went for a briefing session at Singapore Polytechnic for the upcoming Singapore International Water Festival last night and realised that many people have lost the ability to listen.

The speaker was slightly animated and interesting in his briefing instructions to say the least, but most in the audience preferred to hear their own voice rather than his. Have they ever put themselves in his shoes?

Just like there is a purpose for everything that happens in life, there is also a reason for Someone up there gifting us two ears and a mouth: Listen more than you talk, listen more to others and you'll learn more about and from others.

On a personal note, I am really thankful of people who had been attentive when it was my turn to speak. I know who they are and they made speaking just so much easier. And they made themselves just so much more endearing.

Chubby Chubbs!

A study by a Japanese University on the life expectancy of middle-aged and elderly people finally records a small victory for the often marginalised plump community in this prejudiced world of ours:

"People who are a little overweight at age 40 live six to seven years longer than very thin people, whose average life expectancy was shorter by some five years than that of obese people." - Prof Shinichi Kuriyama of Tohoku University

Note that the emphasis is on 'little', and obesity still brings about proven health and medical problems.

Chubby Chan sounds not only rhythmical and nice, but healthier too! Thanks for the nick, Nicholas!

A Letter to My Auntie

Dear Auntie,

It was great to see you this morning. I guess you were in an extremely jovial mood today, since you left me with no place to hide when you chose to praise me in front of all your friends in the market. If I made your day, I guess it is fine to suffer a little embarrassment.

A doctor I met recently in a seminar told me that we need to make it a habit to be thankful to those around us. This habit makes us appreciate things around us and being appreciative leads to happiness (for both the appreciater and appreciatee). Hence you are the first person whom I want to thank, simply because you have been my greatest role model in life and for all life’s valuable lessons which you have taught me.

Cliché as it may sound, life is unpredictable and no regret should set in when we bide each other farewell one day. It is extremely difficult for me to thank you verbally, since we have never shared a “I love you” between the two of us. However, I know that you love me all the same, simply because your actions speak louder than words.

I think this letter will never get to you in this lifetime, and even if it does, you won’t be able to read and understand the content. However, I know God and uncle will show and explain this content to you in future. In the meantime, I want as many people to know, what a wonderful woman you are.

Life’s Valuable Lesson #1
I remember when I was in primary school, I woke up in horror one night when I dreamt that I couldn’t find you in the house, and when I opened the door to your room, I found your photo on the altar. It was a terrible nightmare. I used to be scared of losing you, worrying that I can’t do without your care and concern. No longer now. Departure is part and parcel of life and instead of fretting over loss, we should treasure the remaining time happily together.

And you were the one who taught me this, by being more joyful and jovial even when I heard from cousins that you have been spending more time in bed nowadays. I know physical pain is troubling you, but you have never once let this pain become a burden to your love ones. One can still learn to be happy in difficult situations. I’m still learning to be optimistic and I wish I could be a fifth of who you are.

Life’s Valuable Lesson #2
You used to be a chain smoker. When my brother told you one day that your smoke was affecting him badly, you threw away your cigarette immediately and never once touch smoking again. You taught me that you can love one person more than you love yourself. I’m still learning to love others more than I love myself and I wish I could be a fifth of who you are.

Life’s Valuable Lesson #3
You are the undisputed ‘Cat Woman’ in Bukit Merah. At least 100 grateful abandoned or stray cats (and still counting) must have made our home their abode over the past 40 years. When a cat-fearing resident made callous remarks and threatened you with complaints to the town council, you stood firm, believing that the cats deserve protection and love from us humans. You were able to stand even firmer, with your legion of good friends who supported your actions and also started to bring cats back to their own homes.

That’s you, a lovable woman who is always so kind towards others, be it giving money to the homeless uncle who makes a living by picking card boxes and drink cans, taking care of a neighbour’s child while she tend to urgent errands or sharing your latest Hong Kong TVB drama serials with bored neighbours. I used to be able to roam all over Block 137 in Jalan Bukit Merah as a child, being welcomed into other residents’ homes because they treat and love you as a good friend. Be compassionate, keep giving and never expect any favour back in return, you used to tell me. I’m still learning to be compassionate and I wish I could be a fifth of who you are.

Life’s Valuable Lesson #4
When uncle’s physical and mental capability was severely restricted after he survived a major brain operation, everyone in the family was in a loss. Not you. The moment we fetched him home from the hospital, you tended to all his needs. From feeding, bathing to cleaning up after his visits to the commode, you did not once wince or complain about these difficult tasks. Uncle was easily twice your weight, but you still soldered on, insisted on bringing him out for morning walks to the market. Get a bit of fresh air and the sun, you would say. I remember you hurt your hands and knees badly when you fell while trying to save him from tripping during one of the morning walks.

That was love at its most testing moment, and you passed the test with flying colours. You were the most faithful and loyal wife I have ever seen. My uncle was a great man and he deserved a faithful wife like her. You made me believe that enormous love for someone is possible. I’m still learning to give in abundance and I wish I could be a fifth of who you are.

Life’s Valuable Lesson #5
When uncle passed away in 2002, everyone in the family was in a mess. I was probably the weakest one, crying non-stop. When I asked eldest cousin why you weren’t crying, she told me that you will cry later, away from everyone. “Everyone is already in a mess, she needs to be strong for the family.”

When I heard your shrill cry and saw you collapsing when uncle’s body was pushed into the cremator, I fully understood what eldest cousin meant.

You taught me sacrifice in the face of difficulties, is possible, if it serves a good cause. I’m learning to be brave in sacrificing for a cause and I wish I could be a fifth of who you are.

Epilogue
Mitch Albom once wrote, “Have you ever had someone who saw you as a raw but precious thing, a jewel that, with wisdom, could be polished to a proud shine?”

I am proud to say yes to that question, and that person is my auntie, who took care of me for the first 15 years of my life, without expecting anything back in return. I affectionately address her as mum and my biological mum has never once voiced her disagreement over this. Thanks to her, I have become someone who is happy and contented with his life and someone who has a better directional sense on what he wants in life. I am, because of what she has imparted to me, and for that, I am eternally grateful to her.

The Runner Who Gets Fat Easily

"This physical nuisance should be viewed in a positive way, as a blessing." - Haruki Murakami



The photograph above was taken on my 1st birthday. My cousin encountered some difficulties in hoisting my chubby self up to cut the cake. If you notice carefully enough, the front of my tee-shirt was stained with saliva. I must be drooling profusely at the sight of so much delicacies displayed in front of me. I love food.

Correction: I have a love-hate relationship with food. While I love to travel all over Singapore to taste good food, food proves to be my eternal nemesis too, taking revenge on me as if it has a life of its own. The reason being, I suffer from this condition known as LMR (Low Metabolism Rate).

Yes, I get fat easily and it can get so vexing to have to watch my food intake constantly. I am equally envious of my brother who on a regular basis, can chomp down two packets of noodles, chicken wings, luncheon meat, fried eggs without any significant trace of getting plump. Life can be so unfair at times, when all it takes is a few weeks of inactivity and a few occassions of ill discipline in food consumption and I will be hit with unsightly 'spare tires' around my waist. Fortunately, my job requires me to be pretty much on the move and moving equals to burning fuel. If not, I will be as fat as you-know-who (Who?).

Well, it is not such a bad thing afterall. At least I found a great liking for running in the process. It was not my love for running which propelled me to run in the first place. It was a prompt rejection from my favourite girl of 3 years during my secondary school days which started a bout of vengeful and angry running. She commented I was fat when my friend asked if I stood a chance to be that someone special in her life. How silly.

Wise men often point out that having a purpose in life sustains life itself. A purpose in running sustains running too. After slimming down successfully, I still did not stand a better chance: the girl opted for another boy in the end. The end of my pursue also brought a closure to my initial purpose in running. I realised then that I had gotten better due to running. I felt stronger and more confident, scored a lot more goals in football, was able to concentrate better in my studies and became more determined in finishing my tasks. A better self must be my new purpose in running. Not forgetting the joy of casting all worries aside while running and the after effect of running, I only have two Es to describe it: Pure ecstasy and enjoyment!

Hence, being a runner who gets fat easily is not such a bad thing afterall. If I had the body mechanism of my brother, I would never have bothered to start exercising. As Mr. Murakami puts it aptly, "There can't be many of them who would go out of their way to take these troublesome measures when they don't need to."

This entry just about touches on the truest philosophy in life also: "Life is like a coin; learn to see the positive side of life!"

The Greatest Love of All

While flipping through the Pastoral Care booklet, I was astonished to see the definition of what love is not:

"If the feeling for each other is not mutual, it is not love."

When did love become so calculative? That we expect to be loved before we can love? Didn't one realise that the word 'EXPECTATION' is the root cause of all relationship problems?

"I expect you to buy me..."
"I expect you to be by my side when I need you."
"I expect you to care for me more than you for others."

That is why the greatest love of all is so desired: Unconditional love. Unconditional love is so desired simply because without any expectation, bad feelings such as anger, resentments and jealousy are gone. It is so wanted for the plain reason that without any expectation, any sweet response from your loved ones has its effects multiplied many folds.

That you carry on loving even when the rewards and incentives are minimal, zilch or even negative. That you can keep giving for the ones you love without expecting anything back in return. That seeing your love ones being happy derives more happiness than if you yourself were the one receiving it.

Simply because, you choose to love the person for who he/she is, and not how he/she treats you.

Man is full of flaws and is probably incapable of achieving the feat of unconditional love. As dear Beatrice puts it, only God is capable of doing so. However, this gives us no excuse for not trying. And the quote from Mother Teresa on my bookmark sums up the belief we should possess:

"Do not be afraid of loving to the point of sacrifice, until it hurts."

Ouch. Sweet sensation.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine



It's not easy being a director in any X-Men film. The difficulty lies in making the plot fool-proof, since with so many special powers on display, situations can be simplified immensely.

Just take for example: Evil Colonel Stryker does not even have to take the whole trouble and long plot to trick Wolverine into the experiment of having adamantium injected into his skeletal frame. With the special power of hypnotism by Silverfox, she can easily touch and convince Wolverine to go for the experiment! John Wraith can also easily teleport himself from place to place, so why the trouble to ride a motorbike?

It's a good movie still and worth a three and a half popcorns rating from me!

As usual, it's always a good topic amongst friends to discuss what special power one would like to inherit after watching X-Men. Haha, Javen and I share the same power, which is to become the fastest man on earth (See the paradox here?), earn loads of money from SNOC by winning some medals in the Olympics, win all the sprinting events organised by IAAF, pass 50% of the winnings to my parents, move to a third world country to retire and serve and donate the rest to voluntary organisations all over the world!

They should produce "X-Men Origins: Akash and Javen". Hope it will be a box office hit. Fingers crossed.

The Invisible Gardener

Stanley asked, "What is the difference between a silent, invisible, intangible gardener and no gardener at all?"

"Easy, one looks after gardens. The other does not." replied Livingston.

Source: 'Theology and Falsification' by Anthony Flew

This exchange aptly describes the case with God. Many of us have never experienced God (literally) in our lives. Not that He will come into your room one night and tell you, "My child, let's have a good talk tonight."

Sometimes I really wish He could guide me. Tell me whether the things that I have done are right or wrong. Whether the journey that I am embarking on is the real path that He has laid down for me.

My faith in His presence was at the lowest when serving in India. When I saw a young girl begging for alms in the middle of the road and day with temperature reaching 41 degrees Celcius, struggling from car to car and with no footwear on, I doubted the presence of God. When I hear stories of 12-14 year old girls who got imprisoned, gang-raped over and over again, so that they would finally succumb to the pimps and become child prostitutes, I wonder where God went to. Why did You allow all these sufferrings? Faith was the thing that I needed most then, but faith was wavering and severely tested too.

Support of a religious outfit will do well then, but I refused to heed the advice of pastors and friends before embarking on these trips.

It took me years to find the answer. Credits go to messengers of God whom I met along the way, who guided me into reaching a peaceful conclusion. Probably I was expecting miracles, that God will, in His booming voice, stop the atrocities that the pimps were committing and punish those involved.

However, on retrospect, God did appear in front of me, albeit in the least expected places: Beside the death bed of a stranger and in a train compartment.

When a few volunteers were gathering by the bedside of a dying man put up in one of Mother Teresa's homes, accompanying the man on his last moments before his passing from tuberculosis, I could witness a deep sense of serenity and peace within him. He was struggling with his breathing, but he did not panic. Tears flowed freely from his eyes, but it was not tears of pain or sadness, but tears of joy and gratitude that there was a group of people who would still hold his hand, stroke his head and accompany him on his last journey on earth. Probably he found God in the image of the volunteers. Death was not a scary aspect for him. Death was beautiful then, for it was home-coming for this man.

When I was stranded on a train alone in a foreign land, not being able to ask for directions due to language differences, God appeared in the image of a government official who was seated next to me, spoke fluent English and was heading in the same direction as mine. To add icing to the cake, he was important enough in the ministry to have a personal chaeffeur who would bring me to my exact location thereafter.

God is beside us all the time. We just need to find a little time, moderate positive thinking and a huge dose of faith to spot Him. The garden is well-tended to afterall.

Cost of Running

Running is an expensive sport. Just look at the breakdown below.

Cost incurred in a year of running:

3 pairs of Asics shoes: S$540

Heartrate monitor: S$180

Footpod: S$180

Water belt: S$50

Stopwatch: S$130

5 sets of running attire: S$300

Food and water replenishment after run: S$500

Time: 210 hours = S$4,200 (People say time is money)

Total: S$6,080

Not forgetting the pain in the heart, lungs, knees, feet and mind. However, the benefits of running:

PRICELESS

Liberate yourself. Keep running.

My Love, Rovers!



"Rovers stun ten-man Spurs" - Soccernet

It was an insipid game, a lacklustre display of football with stray passes all over and even after having a good 3-hour nap, I was finding it hard to concentrate on the game. Blackburn hardly ventured into Spurs' box for the first 80 minutes, let alone had a shot on goal.

The commentator's remark woke me up from my slumber, "Gone were the days of Shearer and Sutton, and the millions pumped in by the late Jack Walker, who bankrolled the club to the Premier League in 1995."

Are the good days really gone? 1-0 down to Spurs after 30 minutes and I was really dreading the possibility of having to witness my team being relegated for the second time in my life (The first was terrible, receiving the ill-fated news while I was performing national service in BMT. I almost wanted to kick my sergeant the next day). I was wondering, I could have supported Man U, Liverpool and Chelsea, teams which will often ensure an easy and happy 90 minutes in front of TV. Lesser the chance of me thumping my sweat-soaked (One gets literally heated up when he's angry) pillow, tearing my hair out and cursing the opponents and referee. Unfashionable Blackburn really got my blood pressure up the past decade.

Temptations were high to switch channel (No chance for switching club, just ask S League when Tanjong Pagar FC got disbanded), but as a die-hard fan, I stuck unwillingly to my seat in front of the TV. Even if my team were to suffer, we had to suffer the agony together, not that it will be of any help to them anyway.

70th minute, I decided to take out my two-sided coin. A smile came to me then, I cannot bring myself to hate you. It was my choice when I first got infatuated with you, You had your merits, your beauty when I first fell for you. It grew into love thereafter. I need to stick with you in times of difficulties and disappointments. We need to be in this mire together. I prayed, probably a goal for my team will suffice for tonight. And we were not found wanting.

Then, as if my prayers were answered, the tides turned in our favour. Firstly, Palacios got sent off. We smelled blood, went for the kill and eventually grabbed 2 goals in the last 8 minutes! I sweared my dad was jolted out from his seat when I shouted in joy after we scored the winning goal.

"Minimise the Negative
Maximise the Positive"
- Toyota

It works. And then it dawned upon me the positives which I could derive from supporting the smallest team in the Premier League. Every goal scored is celebrated as though we have won the World Cup; Defeat does not hurt that much, a draw is satisfactory and when victory is achieved, oh how sweet and blissful is that sensation. Pure joy!

I may never get the chance to see a Blackburn captain hoisting the Premier League trophy again, but I had that ultimate joy once in 1995. That is enough to last me a lifetime.

Where Have You Been?

This morning...

Sec 1 Girl: Teacher, I forgot to bring my PE attire.
Me: Hmm, ok. Why don't you inform your PE teacher?
Sec 1 Girl: Aren't you Mr Mun?
Me: ?!?!

The funny thing is, today is already the fourth month into the school year! Really adorable girl!

The Everlasting Love Story of Taj Mahal



The following is an extract from Vikas Swarup's "Slumdog Millionaire" (Originally published as "Q & A"). The way he narrated one of the world's greatest love stories in the voice of a tour guide is so captivating that I decide to share this portion. Please read up more on his book! Fantastic!

"One day in the year 1607, Prince Khurram (Later conferred the title of Emperor Shah Jahan) of the royal Mughal household was strolling down Delhi's Meena Bazaar when he caught a glimpse of a girl selling silk and glass beads in a small booth. He was so entranced by her beauty that he fell in love with her then and there. Her real name was Arjumand Banu, but he gave her the new name of Mumtaz Mahal.

Khurram and Mumtaz were married in the year 1612, and over the next 18 years had 14 children together. Mumtaz was her husband's inseparable companion on all his journeys and military expeditions. She was his comrade, his counselor, and inspired him to acts of charity and benevolence toward the weak and the needy.

She died in childbirth on 7 June 1630 and it was when Mumtaz Mahal lay dying that she extracted 4 promises from the emperor: first, that he erect a monument to match her beauty; second, that he should not marry again; third, that he be kind to their children; fourth, that he visit the tomb on the anniversary of her death. Mumtaz's death left the emperor so heartbroken that his hair is said to have turned gray overnight. But so great was the emperor's love for his wife that he ordered the building of the most beautiful mausoleum on earth for her. Work started in 1631. It took 22 years and the combined effort of over 20 000 artisans and master craftsmen from Persia, the Ottoman Empire, and even Europe, and the result is what you see before you, the Taj Mahal."

Hair turning gray overnight? He must be devastated!